12/4/16

Hi.

Where oh where do I begin……..

Let’s just dive right in because I have no idea where to start this. So, much like most of my rants/vents/stories?, theres a boy and there’s a problem. Wow, shocker. I’m sorry that I’m boy crazy and that there are too many boys in the world and not enough time or patience for each one I encounter. That, or everyone I have some type of interaction with either pisses me off from immaturity or I actually form some type of relationship with them…..only to have them wake up one day and realize that they no longer have any interest in you and completely ice you out. Yeah, isn’t that the best feeling in the world?

Unfortunately, the current person was short lived (compared to the last one which would take me too much energy to document every single thing that happened and how badly it ended). And by short lived I literally mean one weekend. Like, the weekend that started perfectly on a Thursday morning and ended bittersweetly at 5pm on a Sunday. That’s how my weekends are, that length anyway, but sometimes they don’t feel like they start until Saturday or there’s several different combinations of how a weekend feels. Everyone has their own interpretation. Anyways, it started out great, better than I expected.

Thursday was the falling stage.

Friday was the acceptance and social media stalking (not really stalking but oh well).

Saturday literally felt like I was on a cloud.

Sunday was when the whole thing flipped upside down and there was no explanation why.

Clearly, short lived. Well, short lived for the whole “falling” part of it that generally happens every quick for me. I have no idea how someone like me, who has been broken, burned and bruised so many times, can still manage to fall so easily. It’s because I have a big heart. The hopeless romantic in me believes that each person SHOULD work out due to special circumstances but then it doesn’t and like WHY!

It pains me to not know why someone can just wake up one day and somehow feel the complete opposite of what they did the day before. Maybe it wasn’t just instantly and over a period of time, but at some point they have to realize that they feel different about their significant other or anyone for that matter. Even if it’s not romantic and completely platonic, how you feel about a person shows by how you treat them.

If one day this person is the sweetest human being on earth and being around them give you that feeling…like being on a cloud…..then in a matter of hours they treat you like that first piece of bread in a loaf. That was a weird analogy to think about, but I’m sure we all know what that first piece of bread feels like.

Useless, unimportant, and unwanted.

That’s honestly what I felt like and what I still feel like considering this whole thing kind of crashed and burned just a  few hours ago.

It’s definitely not the first time this has happened and I’m all too familiar with this feeling it just absolutely sucks. The “falling” process takes about 30 seconds whereas the recover and healing stage can take days, weeks, months and by persona experience sometimes even years.

Shoutout to these people who think that instead of just confronting someone about their changed feelings or whatever, treating them like dirt (or the first piece of bread) seemed like the best option.

Well, here’s a tip from every girl ever : IT’S NOT!