7/19/16

how do i start this…….hmm…..well, i could just flat out say it or compose a long analysis of why it happened and why i didn’t deserve it and it wasn’t my fault….blah blah blah the usual

i won’t do that so let’s dive right in.

so pretty much the worst weekend of my life and i’ve had some pretty bad weekends in my 18 years of life on earth. if you’re familiar with my previous rant post “parents”, this is the aftermath of that night. (i didn’t send the e-mail thank god, who knows what would have happened if i did). so, after that situation i was basically in solitude from 5pm Friday night up until well….right now.

yeah.

nobody told me i had to do that it just seemed like a way for me to not bother them and they couldn’t bother me. plus, i have midterms this week so i was studying the entire time and although the quiet did help it left me in a state of sadness. i left my room today obviously for school but the second i came home i went straight back to my room. the scary thing about that is no one was even home but i closed my door and was almost relaxed at my solitude. i hate being alone, i always have and i always will but right now i just feel very alone.

also, empty and abandoned.

my parents have not said two words to me since Friday and there’s no hope that they will speak to me anytime soon. but like why? what did i do that was so horrible i have to be dezoned and trapped in my own home. i’m not really trapped, i mean i can leave whenever i want but when i’m home i can’t feel comfortable anywhere outside of my room.

on the plus side, one of my midterms got moved until next week and the teacher did’t tell us until today 🙂

I was under the impression that this test was wednesday so i hard core studied all weekend and…..interestingly enough, the entire reason why i’m being ignored by my parents was because my mom came into my room on Friday and tried to talk to me but i told her i was busy.

ok, yeah i was busy studying for a test i thought was the coming week.

turns out it wasn’t and if i knew that i wouldn’t have been freaking out and this situation might not be happening right now.

i don’t know that for sure but let’s just say that so i can feel slightly better about the current state I’m in

 

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